Free Movies

I am so excited to find that my public library stocks some great dvd rentals. Are they still called rentals if they are free? Two nights ago, I watched Garden State. It made me laugh and cry. Tonight, I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, another superb choice. It was another one that made me cry. Seems like every movie makes me cry nowadays.

In any event, its nice to know that there are some movies that are different than the rest. I cannot stand Hollywood Blockbusters that are all the same movie repackaged with different actors and different stunts and the like. I need sleep now.

Nasty and Grumpy

Today was one of those days. The sky fell. The air was harsh and cold. The wind blew through to my soul. By the time I got out of school, the sky was blue and it was beautiful, chilly, cold fall weather. But it was too late. The damage was done. I was tired, grumpy, and irritable. It was a helluva long day for no particular reason. At dinner time, I was given the "gossip" that a cousin had "run into" a particular ex at the drug store. WHY did my mother feel the need to tell me this? No clue but it put me into an angry, hostile mood. I ate like a pig, and after knitting some, decided to fall asleep. Plus a certain friend is not speaking to me. Maybe it is my fault. I don't know. Today is one of those days that my soul feels like a big black hole. Is there help please or will I keep falling and falling???

Dalai Lama Photos

I was lucky to be able to check out two books written by His Holiness at my public library today. Here is a picture I took of the Dalai Lama yesterday. The guy in the red (yes, it looks like a dot!) is His Holiness!

Happier Days and Happier Dreams

Yesterday morning, I was one out of 36,000 or so at Rutgers Stadium. Why were we there? A football game, you are assuming, right? Nope, we were there to see the Dalai Lama in the flesh. The lecture was titled “Peace, War, and Reconciliation” and it was to be delivered by none other than Nobel Peace Prize winner, the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso. Although the presentation did not start until 10.30 AM, beginning at 6.30 am were to be films of Tibetan culture and musical entertainment. I arrived at 9 am and enjoyed some throat singing and Buddhist chanting. It was very beautiful! The Dalia Lama was given an honory doctorates degree of Rutgers University. The Dalai Lama expressed his thoughts on receiving this honor--he thought of himself to be very lucky to receive this degree without any of the hard work! The Dalai Lama lectured for about 40 minutes and then spent some time doing a question and answer session. He really is an amazing man who strives for world peace, the abolishment of all nuclear weapons and resolution of all world conflicts. Here are some thoughts of the Dalai Lama's that I will share.

In today's society, we are all interdependant on one another. America is dependant on Europe, Europe on Asia, etc. In today's world, war is outdated. We should be getting along, not killing.

Killing is not morally right--on any grounds, whether it's one man shooting another for drugs--or one man shooting another in war.

The Dalai Lama's English wasn't exactly the sharpest, so some of what he said was kind of funny. He was trying to say there are evil people in all religions. But what he said was--there are mischievous Jews, mischievous Christians, mischievous Muslims. When there are only a few of the "mischievous" in that religion--it makes no sense to discriminate against the religion.

May we all have happier days and happier dreams.

The Dalai Lama visits Rutgers.

Girls' Night Out

Well, I enjoyed a lovely 24 hour outing with a few of my girlfriends. As many of you know, I won a free Marriott stay a while back--and I finally had a chance to use it. Amber and my future-sister-in-law, Lauren met me up at the Park Ridge Marriott in Northern Bergen County, NJ. What a beautiful hotel! The room was wonderful--fluffy duvets and a bathrobe to use! And a balcony overlooking--a roof? We ate dinner at the Melting Pot with Jennifer. We had a great time--and I can assure you we stuffed ourselves to capacity. We started with the cheddar cheese fondue, then salads and a vegetarian fondue dish for Amber. Jennifer and I gorged ourselves with the chocolate fondue with every possible dipper imaginable--cheesecake, pound cake, brownies, fruit. It was decadent. By the end of the meal, we lost all our manners and began double dipping. It was a riot. Amber was the only one who was not tempted by the dessert. God Bless her.

After the Melting Pot, the Irish Pub in our hotel was calling our names. So Lauren and I had a couple beers--Amber had a Shirley Temple. Next morning, after Amber had to leave, Lauren and I enjoyed some FREE room service for breakfast and a shopping excurstion to the Christmas Tree Shops. Then lunch and gaming at the Dave and Busters. We had a blast!

Trails

I love hiking! It's just amazing being outside with my dog, Norton, and wandering the trails. You never know what you may find along a trail. You may take one trail because you think its going to lead you to an extraordinary viewpoint, steep climbs, or a body of water. But sometimes, you may take a trail which loops you in a giant circle. There are no bodies of water or viewpoints at the end. The trail may be full of mirages, who knows. This barren trail leaves you sad and angry. But what if, indirectly, this trail leads you to another? This other trail is YOUR kind of trail! What if the first trail takes you to a second trail which is full of scenic overlooks, waterfalls--and beautiful places to lay in the grass and eat a picnic lunch. So in that case, should you be angry at yourself for taking the foolish path--or grateful that it led you to one you were looking for along? I think the answer is pretty obvious. I've just stepped foot onto that second trail. It left me smiling and laughing--and we'll see if its the trail I've been seeking. To answer my own question--I don't make regrets. Everything happens for a reason--it's all part of a master plan, isn't it?

Life is Good.

Life is sweet, ain't it? Sometimes, you get knocked down--but then you get back up and you are stronger than ever. Don't ever be too busy to appreciate the little things in life. Here are some that make me grin.

1. The fresh smell of the air after raining. Its like magic.

2. Dewey drops of water on flower petals.

3. Wintery Snowy Kisses (I have mentioned that one before but find it SO worth repeating).

4. Norton jumping in the air because he is so happy to see me when I come home from work!

5. Cozy, fuzzy, slipper socks.


Today I started my day on a kind of sad note. Driving to work on the parkway, there was a dead little dog on the side of the road. It really did break my heart. But later on, I saw two wonders of nature. At least to me, they were. Driving home from the gym after work, I noticed two or three deer feeding on some grass. However, one of those deer was a young buck with growing antlers! It's not too rare to see deer in this area--but it's not everyday you see a buck!

Even later on that evening...my mom called me downstairs to see a huge bug on the outside of the sliding glass door. It was a praying mantis! It was amazing. He was big and beautiful! Like a martian! I looked up some information on the praying mantis. Did you know that along with eating insects, they can eat mice and hummingbirds too? Ewww...

In this grand thing called life, we have great moments and horrible, sad ones too. Don't forget the little things in life though. If you slow down, stop and smell the flowers, you never know what you might find.

I've been listening to The Heart of the Matter by Don Henley. Its beautiful and though its 6 minutes long, I've listened to it a gazillion times over the past few days. I would like to share some of the words because I think they are so meaningful.

The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
...People filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
The trust and self-assurance that can lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us,
Doesn't keep me warm

There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you inside
-------------------------------------

Isn't that what life is about? Remembering? Forgiving? Learning from your experiences. Letting your heart free of all the anger and hatred and sorrow. Then you will be free to love again.

Garden State Equality

Tonight, Dave and I enjoyed an evening in Montclair. I wandered my favorite bookstore and then we had dinner at one of my favorite Indian restaurants, Udupi Village. After dinner, on to our next destination--the Montclair State University Student Center. We attended a Town Meeting put on by a group called Garden State Equality . This group is a nonprofit and its made up of straights and gays alike. They are all about trying to get gays the right to marry in NJ. There were 437 people present at this meeting--it was an amazing turnout. The focus of the meeting was clergy--so many clergy from various faiths attended this meeting and spoke. Some were straight, some were gay, some had gay sons and/or daughters. But they all supported the equal rights of gays to get married. The stories were heartwrenching. It makes me so angry that in the year 2005, people honestly don't think gay people should be given equal rights. Give me a break. I get especially angry thinking about the stupid, ignorant people out there. Check out the website if you're interested. I am going to do what I can to help right this wrong. Sometimes, I feel that I cannot do enough. But tonight, I came across a great quote.

"The work of an individual still remains the spark that moves mankind forward." ---Igor Sikorsky

New Beginnings

Its been 2 weeks and 2 days since a certain person and I parted ways. Here are some thoughts of the day. When you are in a relationship, you naturally rely on the other person to some extent, right? They are your favorite person and your best friend. When you go through a devastating breakup, you realize that you NEVER really could count on them, could you? The rug is pulled out from under you and they never want to see nor talk to you again. Okay. So who can you rely on? Your wonderful friends, that is true. They would do anything for you. But, really, there is one person you CAN rely on.

YOURSELF. I believe its true that if you want others to love you, you need to love yourself first and foremost. After a breakup is a good time to evaluate your life and get to know yourself. Interesting that this is the month of Elul in the Jewish calender. It's the time of year that, if you are a Jew, you are to evaluate the last year. We are to make amends and ask for forgiveness for what we have done wrong. Right after the month of Elul, comes the high holy days, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. In the Jewish calender, its a new year--and a fresh start. These are deeply solemn days and I'm looking forward to observing them for the first time this year. I'm starting fresh on my own and will be working to ENRICH myself.

Autumn will be arriving very soon. Autumn is my favorite time of the year.

Why I Love Autumn

1. Apple Picking and baking fresh apple goods
2. Pumpkin picking and carving jack-o-lanterns
3. Jumping into a pile of freshly raked leaves!
4. Starbucks' Caramel Apple Cider on a brisk day!
5. My birthday (October 4)
6. Halloween
7. The feel of brand new school clothes on a chilly day
8. Zipping up my Knee High Boots after unpacking them from their storage spot.
9. The first snowflakes melting on my tongue (possibly at the near end of Autumn)
10. Days off from school for Holidays and Teachers Convention!

Drunken Phone Calls

Last night proved to be an enjoyable evening at the Polish Home. Several friends showed up and we had good, good times, drinking, chilling, and playing pool. Steve and I drank the most, I'm pretty sure of that. Our friends pretended not to know us when we began dancing. An interesting but true fact--I suck at pool, but I'm even worse when I'm drunk. I actually made the white ball jump off the table. After the bar, we went to our local diner. Steve and I left our cars.

Walking into the diner, I grabbed the SAT Coaching brochure, and lo and behold, the names of the "coaches" I recognize from high school! They are teachers and one, was a real wuss and the bowling league coach. So what does a drunk girl do at 2am but call the numbers until the people get so pissed that they take their phones off the hook.

The climate of the diner got chillingly exciting when Tom the bartender walked in. I hear other patrons calling out his name and I start yelling for free drinks. Some guy with long hair comes over and lo and behold, he remembers this bowling coach too, and wants to call him for himself. But the phone was off the hook.

I received a voicemail from a woman at 6.47 am and she was none too thrilled that she received a call at 2am. She advised me to call back during normal business hours.

Frustration!!!!

Well, its the (almost) end of my first week of school. Remember that hollow feeling in my chest? Now, its been replaced with much frustration and anger. I'm pissed off for a lot of reason and VERY ANGRY. It will be nice to kick back a few at the Polish Home tonight!!!

Vent--I am tired of people being self-centered and not being considerate of others' feelings.

Activism

Tonight, I attended my local Democracy for America meetup with my great friend, Dave. It certainly feels great to attend a gathering of like-minded political folks. It's interesting to go to these meetings--I certainly do learn a lot! And, contrary to what some morons think--Democracy for America is not a communist organization! Its an organization that supports progressive democratics! Jeez!!! I just wanted to voice my opinion!

Much too much...

I feel like I am dealing with much too much. With the onset of the school year, I stress myself out and cause myself massive anxiety. I am coping with my own problems and feeling guilt that I make a big deal out of heartbreak when there are worse problems out there. But doesn't it feel worse than death when you're experiencing it? School tomorrow. Gotta make my lunch and shower and pick a first day of school outfit. What to wear? 1. 2. 3. DEEP BREATH!!!!

Late Night Wanderings 'Bout Town

I enjoyed a fun and rather eventful Saturday night in my humble hometown last evening. It started with Katie and Karen coming over and we went out for dinner at Tony's Pizza. This is also where my sister waitresses and we had the best waitress in the world! After a yummy dinner, we headed to the Polish Home, my favorite local watering hole. There, we hung out with Bill, Bret, Chris, and Jenn. They have an awesome jukebox and pool for $1! So we played a couple games of pool and drank some beer. At closing time, Jenn, Bret, Bill, and myself were the last of our group left. Our next destination was Sherban's Diner, where I ate way too much food. Funny story regarding the diner. We had 2 designated drivers--Jenn and Bret. So I get in the car with Jenn and Bill gets in with Bret. Jenn and I are getting in the car, and 2 hoodlums are waving at us from inside the diner. I alternate telling Jenn, "Lets get out of here," and blowing this one dude kisses! Finally, I tell her to hightail it because he is now not in the diner but came outside after us. So, as Jenn is pulling away, I open my window, and am blowing the guy kisses and telling him I love him. I didn't mean it. It was just pretty darn funny okay.

After Sherbans, we headed to the playground. Let me tell you that this one school in my town has an awesome playground and we were there for hours playing around. There were moments I laughed so hard, my abdomen was hurting!

So now its 5am. Time to go home. Bill had to be at work at 9. But, Jenn wanted coffee. So we head to Dunkin Donuts and drink more coffee and eat some donuts. We were there until 6am! Funny thing--at 5.30 am, in walks our bartender, Tom, from the Polish Home. He is dressed for golf and says he didn't sleep much. I told him we haven't slept yet. Tom already knew that. He saw us at the diner, he says, and then here at Dunkin Donuts.

Anyway, that was my fun and crazy Saturday night. Anybody up for partying tonight??? ;)

End of Summer!

Well, the end of the summer is finally upon us and I am trying to enjoy every last minute of it! Thursday night, with my family off to Penn State to peruse colleges for Ashley, I had a girls' sleepover! Karen and Jenn R. spent the night and it was wonderful to have 2 of my closest friends over! Karen made me a very sweet card and Jenn brought me Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul. Did I mention I have the best friends in the whole wide world?

Friday, Karen and I took the train into the city. Karen wanted to go check out record stores, so we went to the Virgin Megastore first. Then we took the subway to the village--one of my favorite parts of the city! We walked around in the hot summer sun and visited a shop I adore called Sabon. Its like an Israeli Bath and Body--they are very expensive, but have wonderful products. I bought a lavandar foam scrub and a mud mask (with mud from the dead sea!)! They even gave me a rose petal soap sample! Their stuff is just amazing and can't wait to order more of their stuff online!

Last night, I went to Fox and Hound with Robin and Jessica. We had a nice time--and I had another sleepover. Robin slept over and we took Norton hiking. We had a good workout and Norton had a good swim to boot! I will post some pics! I may even be able to post the video...not sure about that though!

Help...

I just made a donation to a group called America's Second Harvest to help those affected by Katrina. They work to bring food to those in need. If you can, why not make a donation to them or the Red Cross ? We really are VERY lucky, aren't we, when you think of what those people are dealing with down there?

A New Day!

Yesterday, I had a very good day and night. I spent some time at working going through boxes. Then I had a lovely lunch with some wonderful friends--current and and former coworkers, including Jennifer and Jenn! After enjoying a very long lunch at the California Pizza Kitchen, I wandered around Borders. I had a couple hours of home time (knitting--yessss!) then went out with Bill and Bret to Flanagans. After Flanagans, Bill and I celebrated his new job at the Italian American Club Bar, then I insisted we play on the playground equipment for the school across the street. It was grandiose!

Yesterday, I ribbed 2 rows on my latest knitting project. It will be a gorgeous multi-colored hat, in shades of red, orange and purple. Its a beautiful yarn. I've decided to use my blog as an outlet, and post 25 goals (my book says I should). They can be long-term or short-term. So here they go.

1. Rescue farm animals.

2. Plant a garden.

3. Eat falafel in Jerasulam.

4. Drive to Montana next summer and check out the Going to the Sun Road at Glacier National Park.

5. Go to Western Canada and check out the great outdoors, British Columbia and Vancouver.

6. DRIVE to Alaska.

7. Buy a house with a lovely wrap-around porch.

8. Get a little dog to be friends with my big dog. Maybe a pug.

9. Drive across Europe.

10. Learn to crochet.

11. Become fluent in another language.

12. Be a nicer person.

13. Become more organized.

14. Begin balancing a budget.

15. Go on more hikes.

16. Put myself before any guys.

17. When I'm ready, meet a fabulous guy who is crazy about me and wants to tell the whole world how much he loves me!

18. Have a gaggle of kids one day. Well, not a gaggle. Two or three. I just like that word!

19. Go to Centralia, Pa. They've had a fire going on under their town for over 50 years!

20. See the Pacific Northwest. Washington and Oregon.

21. Go to Wine Country, California.

22. Go back to Burlington, Vermont.

23. Visit every continent!!!!

24. Remember all my friends' birthdays on time every year!

25. Write my own book.